The Ballad of a Slow Poisoner

Herein are the singular adventures of one Millford Mutterwurst, who one day makes the unpleasant discovery that his elbows are becoming flatter - an unpleasant effect of the nefarious act of slow poisoning. He is soon joined by a blue and globular companion named Slub Glub and one translucent monkey in a frenetic balloon voyage to dangerous isles and disturbing planets in a desperate attempt to escape this deadly withering. A tale told in eighty dizzying chapters, all of them exceedingly short, and filled with strange songs and oblique illustrations.

128 page trade paperback with sporadic illustrations: $10

Available from Bizarro Books or Amazon.

The Slow Poisoner's Enervating Elixir

Genuine patent medicine, useful in the treatment of Elephantiasis, Cholera, Barnacles, Boils, The Fits, Excessive Abscesses, Necrosis, Lavender Fever, General Wasting, Consumption, Women's Troubles, Gout, Neuralgia, Wandering Limbs, Stoutness, Onanism and Disinterested Bladder.

$3 per bottle, satisfaction guaranteed

Available only at live performances.

Roadside Altar CD Album

Ten songs, including "The Hex," "Run Rooster Run," "Flaming Creatures (Of Rock and Roll)," "Bad Bungalow" and more, in a slick and fancy cardboard foldout cover.

$8

You can get this from CD Baby or iTunes or directly from me.

The Slow Poisoner Shirt

Available in any color you like so long as it's black.

$10 men/$7 women

You can get this directly from me.

Fatal Floral Phonograph CD EP

Four songs of rural paranoia.

$5

You can get this from CD Baby or iTunes or directly from me.