Old News: 2007

Last Shows of 2007

These will be the 50th, 51st and 52nd performances of the year:

Friday, December 21 at Red Victorian Hotel in San Francisco. 7 pm, FREE! with Unwoman, Diablo's Dust, Nate Gross, Mike Chase and Andy Mason. My set is slated for 8:25.

Saturday, December 29 at il corral in Hollywood. This is the last il corral show at the End of the World Bookstore, and will feature 5 performers playing in 5 rooms at the same time, and then myself and other fine acts on the main stage.

Sunday, December 30 at Thee Parkside in San Francisco. 5 pm, FREE Twang Sunday afternoon show with Naked and Shameless (wild glam-country freak duo I encountered in their home town of Chicago) and Ol' Cheeky Bastard (featuring the legendary Dave Dalton of Cell Block 5 on dobro).

Get Those Blood Stains Out!

For the Slow Poisoner's third annual Halloweentime mass poisoning, I will be converting everyone's favorite rock and roll laundromat into a creepy cleaner of weeping washers and diabolical dryers. (October 1, 2007)

The Ballad of a Slow Poisoner

The fine and twisted folks at Bizarro Books in the Great Northwest have seen fit to re-print my novella "The Ballad of a Slow Poisoner." Click here for more! (July 29, 2007)

The Chicken With Its Head Cut Off Tour Summer 2007

Nine States, 13 Days, 14 Shows

7/9: New Orleans, Louisiana: Neutral Ground * 7/10: New Orleans, Louisiana: Dragon's Den * 7/11: Huntsville, Alabama: Flying Monkey Arts * 7/12: Marietta, Georgia: Swayze's * 7/13: Paducah, Kentucky: Etcetera Coffeehouse * 7/14: Russellville, Kentucky: Jesse James Art and Film Fest * 7/15: Nashville, Tennessee: Cafe Coco * 7/16: Indianapolis, Indiana: Melody Inn * 7/17: Chicago, Illinois: Sylvie's Lounge * 7/18: Chicago, Illinois: WLUW * 7/18: Peru, Illinois: Water Street Pub * 7/19: Detroit, Michigan: The Belmont * 7/20: Cleveland, Ohio: Hapy Dog * 7/21: Chicago, Illinois: Cal's Liquors

Details can be found here. (July 1, 2007)

Le Cri du Coyote

New review of "Roadside Altar" - In French! (June 6, 2007)

Flying Saucers and the Center of the World

After spending Sunday morning in Hollywood Forever Cemetary I made my way to San Diego, where instumental combo The Blue Shift, Domo (from Tempe) and myself had a great night at the Zombie Lounge. It makes a big difference when all the groups support each other. I first played the Zombie because I liked the name (my primary criteria when I'm finding venues for a tour) but the place has much going for it, including tall-boy cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

On my way out of town I stopped at the Unarian Society, where the sign "Welcome Space Brothers" hangs behing a model of the city of the future, once our planet gets its act together and joins the other 31 planets in the Interstellar Federation. Similar forward-thinking was found down the road between California and Arizona, where the offical Center of the World is marked with a granite pyramid. I paid $2 to an elderly woman to go inside and stand in the middle.

There's something about the Southwestern Desert that instills cosmic thinking. After my show at the Trunk Space, where I shared the bill with Harry Merry, who plays jaunty rhtyhms on auto-accompanying keyboard while sporting a sailor suit and pageboy wig, I crashed at the Space Lodge, whose motel functionality is housed within the trappings of a flying saucer. Astronomical! (April 2, 2007)

Through the Desert on 3 Wheels and a Dream

I started my California Screamin' mini-tour Thursday night at the Stork Club in Oakland with Eugene's amazing Ovulators. Tina Ovulator was six months pregnant and rocked the stage with her unborn child and sparkling spandex maternity garb. Fabulous! Afterwards I drove towards LA - passing motorists waved frenetically at my rental car - I thought it was because I couldn't figure out how to turn my brights off, but when I awoke the next morning at a rest stop at Los Banos, I found that I had three tires and a pancake. I made some calls and got it replaced with a doughnut.

Not the doughnut I drove on, but the doughnut I drove through.

The next gig was in Muirreta with my buddy Burke, who's doing a national tour on his bicycle, Pignose amplifier and tent on trailer in tow. Burke is America's only hope at the moment - a sweaty man pedaling his way to Georgia to sing songs about toadstools. Ride on, Burke! He was dizzy from spinning in the sun all day but my miracle tonic fixed him right up... Saturday's gig in a Pomona art gallery was cancelled at the last minute but no-one told me and I refused to accept it, so I lugged my gear down the street and plugged in at the rec room of the Pomona Valley YMCA. (March 31, 2007)

It's a New Year and I'm Selling Medicine Made in a Bathtub

Fresh for 2007, I'm now bottling my own patent medicine. The Slow Poisoner Miracle Tonic is made with genuine Egyptian Oil and proves effective in the treatment of Elephantiasis, Cholera, Barnacles, Boils, The Fits, Excessive Abscesses, Necrosis, Lavender Fever, General Wasting, Consumption, Women's Troubles, Gout, Neuralgia, Wandering Limbs, Stoutness, Onanism and Disinterested Bladder. At a mere $3 per elixir, satisfaction is guaranteed. These will be for sale at all upcoming shows. (January 1, 2007)