The Slow Poisoning of 2008

The Spastic Maggot Summer Tour

I'm heading out to Louisiana and back, first on the low road and then on high, poisoning 8 states in 17 days, including the towns of Los Angeles (6/24 at Ding-A-Ling), San Diego (6/25 at Zombie Lounge), Oceanside (6/26 at Royal Dive), Phoenix (6/27 at Trunk Space), Tucson (6/28 at Surly Wench), El Paso (6/29 at HusH), Dallas (6/30 at Bar of Soap), Denton, Texas (7/2 at Cool Beans), New Orleans (7/3 at Neutral Ground), Austin (7/4 at Esmerelda Strange's place), San Marcos, Texas (7/5 at Attic Ted's place), Wichita (7/6 at Kirby's Beer Store), Denver (7/7 at 3 Kings, probably), Boulder (7/8 at Laughing Goat), Salt Lake City (7/9 at Burt's Tiki Lounge), Reno (7/10 at Satellite Bar).

Full details can be found here; hope to run into you down the line! (June 16, 2008).

Pagan Rites Of Spring

Next show is at the world-famous Doll Hut, in the shadow of Disneyland, and on the bill are the demented duos Naked and Shameless and The Vooduo! Solid! (April 27, 2008)

The Great Northwestern Roller Derby Chili Cook-Off and Pig Wrestle

The gig last night at The Funhouse (evil looming clown head marquee pictured above) was screaming weirdness. Seattle roller derby team The Throttle Rockets were holding an annual fundraiser, and I was the opening act for the very fine Mama Tried (whose swooning singer, her head "addled by vapors," was made right by my Miracle Tonic) and Hard Money Saints. The advertised "pig wrasslin'" turned out to be the roller derby girls, dressed as pigs, wrestling. The only actual pork was in the competing strains of chili, the winner of which listed "pubes" as a key ingredient. A wooden bull on roller skates rammed the crowd with horns, probably contributed to the fight that inevitably broke out. Drugs may also have played a part, as I noticed that during the Saints' set moustachioed shirtless men were dancing sinisterly along the stage. I closed my set with an audience's choice of either Robert Johnson's "Hellhound On My Trail" or Hank Williams' "I Saw The Light," and as I expected the Devil won again. (March 28th, 2008)

The Drunken Monkey Mini-Tour

In an itinerary that follows a route planned by a drunken monkey, I will be playing shows later this month in San Francisco (3/20 at San Francisco State University), Las Vegas (3/22 at The Freakin' Frog), Seattle (3/27 at The Funhouse), Portland (3/28 at Slabtown), Eugene (3/29 at Luckey's Club Cigar), and Ashland (3/30 on KSKQ Radio). Full details are on my "gigs" page. (March 1, 2008)

Liven Up the Living Room

Ah, the house concert - no drunks, no earplugs, just couches, home cookin' and captivating sounds. If you're in the Davis/Sacramento area and want to come to this, shoot me an e-mail and I'll tell you the address. Plus it's George Washington's birthday, and Christian Kiefer will sing about our founding fathers' teeth. (February 11, 2008)

The Power of Negative Thinking

Last night I set my finger on fire in the name of rock n' roll. As some of you may have witnessed, I occasionally augment my stage performance with a small burst of flame from my palm. While backstage at The Scene Bar in Los Angeles I demonstrated this technique to Haunted George and Karie from The Dagons. H.G. inquired as to whether it ever gave me blisters, to which I replied no, it never had, and in fact I'd never even considered the possibility. Of course, that night, during my set, something went awry and what is usually a gentle puff of smoke was a kind of volcanic thunderbolt. The fact that I was trying out a new mixture of gunpowder and sequins (for sparkling effect) might have been to blame. I am Great White! (January 26, 2008)

The Eye Presents!

Coming January 25th, I'll be appearing in Southern California with two of my favorite bands - Haunted George and The Dagons! (January 3, 2008)